What does a balanced life mean to you?

When I did research for my thesis about art therapy, I had the honor to interview Christopher, a psychotherapist at a rehab center, who told me, “It's not that we don't have problems; it’s about learning how to deal with them.” This statement became my mantra. I felt a huge relief because my life at the time was a far cry from a balanced life. Thanks to Christopher I realized that obstacles prevent us from living a balanced life; obstacles will be always present, and that is okay. 

The trajectory of my life threw me far away from the so-called balanced life. I would have felt desperate if I had to compare my life to the ideal. The more I was pondering "The wheel of life" the more uncomfortable I felt. I started questioning this scheme. What does a balanced life mean to me? What matters to me? What makes me happy and alive? I realized that my priorities differ. I also realized that different stages of my life change my definition of a balanced life. I believe that our personalities and our environments are so unique that we cannot rely on general parameters and evenly distributed categories. If anything, the guidelines of a balanced life are just that, guidelines. 

As I was able to sort out my personal meaning of a balanced life, I became aware that a real life makes any kind of balance impossible to maintain. We constantly interact with life. Natural forces make it impossible to preserve balance as we want it. Thus, I prefer to say that I engage in the never-ending process of balancing.

Someone might argue that this is just semantics. But it is important to distinguish between something unattainable and something manageable. When I engage in the act of balancing I know that I have the power to ride the waves that keep changing from moment to moment. I am an active participant and co-creator of my life, especially the meaning of my life. I reflect and learn the skills to overcome obstacles, thus come closer to my sense of balance in the moment. I think there is a big difference between striving for the ideal steadiness and interacting with life with full awareness to recognize what makes us truly happy. 

A couple of months ago I had a conversation with a person who said, “So, you do yoga? You must be very balanced.” I do not see yoga as a system that makes me balanced. I see yoga as a system that helps me acquire tools so I can ride the wild waves of life more skillfully. I can relax because I know that life is not perfect. And that is okay. I cannot make it balanced and hold on to the ideal, but I engage in the act of balancing, fully aware and open to learning.

From frustration to mastery: how to cope with difficulty and challenge in yoga

One day I had a conversation about yoga practice with my friend Christine. I began to sense frustration from her voice when she was telling me that despite her efforts she was not progressing in her practice. She was intrigued by some yoga poses, but without any change on the horizon, she started thinking that yoga is not for her. So she stopped yoga altogether.

It is natural to experience frustration when we enter a territory of the unknown. Our inner critic kicks in. We may begin to feel inadequate, and especially in advanced classes, we do not want to look like ‘the only one who can’t do the pose.’ It is surprising how harsh we can be on ourselves. In such a situation it is crucial to recognize that 'not knowing' is a natural process of learning.

My teacher Ana Forrest says that sometimes all you need to do is to change your attitude. Change the way you think about your practice so you can stay motivated, not frustrated. Focus on learning. This is called gaining mastery. This kind of attitude will help you overcome difficulty that is inherent to yoga practice. Care about what you can learn rather than what you have to prove.

How can you encourage the learning process in your practice?

Listen and try to understand. How does the instruction relate to me?

Ask teachers questions and make sure you get an answer that helps you move forward.

Take workshops. Take classes from different instructors. Take advantage of the diversity!

Enjoy the process of learning; enjoy the process of getting there!

Additionally, remember that performance focus and competition do not serve any purpose in yoga. In fact, they can hinder your progress toward mastering your practice. Yes, it would be foolish to pretend that we do not compete. Once these feelings arise, make them unimportant. Focus on gradually developing your practice, not on showing off for your ego.

When you run into difficulty in pursuit of mastery, take action. Immerse yourself in the learning process. Remember that mastery takes time. There may be poses that you will not be able to do, at least not for now. Be patient and relax with what is. Baron Baptiste says, "The moment you stop forcing your body into the pose, pretending you can do it, or fearing the pose altogether, you develop mental and muscular poise under pressure. Stay confident. Stay with the discomfort; it holds lessons and it can give you new insights."

Yoga does not require deadlines, only consistency.

My first yoga class. Yes, I sucked.

Always looking for a different perspective and for an alternative lifestyle, I was naturally drawn to Eastern philosophy. At the age of fourteen I bought a book about yoga. After reading the entire book I concluded that yoga is a perfect system because it affects all three areas: physical, mental, and emotional. What a deal! I could get everything I needed by doing yoga! I decided to do several poses at home but I didn’t feel any profound effects. So, I stopped. Still the idea that yoga could positively affect all three areas of our lives simultaneously stuck with me. It sounded too good. It wasn’t until I moved to San Francisco that I experienced the benefits of yoga. I have to admit that my first classes were not rosy.

My first class in the US was Power yoga held in a heated room. It hurt! My body hurt like hell. Every stretch felt unbelievably unbearable. Every strength-based move felt impossible. Call it silent suffering if you will. And, I could not figure out why the teacher kept adjusting me into something even more uncomfortable. Talking about touching your toes? I was barely touching my knees. Talking about breath? I had no clue what ‘inhale’ and ‘exhale’ meant in the first place. In fact, I could barely understand the teacher. It was my first month living in the US, and my English vocabulary was rather limited. For the most part I looked around the room and tried to copy the students around to me. Somehow I managed to have fun. I really did.

But something else happened. As I kept looking around the room at the effortlessly moving people with stoic faces, I was inspired. I wanted to move like them. I want to breathe like them. I wanted to chant like them (yes, I started working on my OM right away). I kept soaking in the energy, grace, and beauty that radiated from the yogis while I was awkwardly trying to perform something reminiscent of yoga poses. I absolutely did not care that I sucked. I believed that one day I could do it too.

I left the class energized, optimistic, and happy. Down deep inside I felt convinced that yoga was something I wanted to do, and I have never turned back ever since the day I left the class.

[.....it’s been nine years]